I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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