OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize