so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
God, you're like boner-b-gone
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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