You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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