I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize