either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i barfeds in our rink
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize