Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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