ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
