So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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