you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
