i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
