you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
