so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
