I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
