I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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