Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
