you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize