I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
