Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
