dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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