Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
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Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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