I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize