So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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