At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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