does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
