I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
