Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize