it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Let's paint friendship bongs
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You did what with his pubic hair?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize