If that was your dad, he is hot
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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