That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
