atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
