woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
