Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
