found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
