Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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