You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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