carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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