listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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