So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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