So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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