Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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