Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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