You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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