Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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