Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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