If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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