Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this beer tastes like vomit already
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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