You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
