I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.