I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again