I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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