I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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