He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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