yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas