I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!