I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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