she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
