Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
