I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
