were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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