Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
