I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
